This week I had a little growth spurt and it was painful. Questions popped in and out of my head continuously and left room for little else, my stomach felt tight and clenched and not in a good way, I thought, and assessed, and visited my family's future and really took a good hard look at what I want in life. And especially what I want for these three little beings that are depending on me to point them in the right direction. They are counting on me to provide love, security, healthy food, and a home that is a sanctuary away from it all. My children are looking to me as there first example of a woman. My little girl looks to me to see what she will become and I can see it in her eyes. I can see that little twinkle when I am putting on my makeup and she grabs my brush and says "like this mommy?" as she paints her face. My precious boys are looking at me and forming a picture in their heads of what they will hope for ( or not hope for) in a wife or girlfriend someday. This motherhood job- IT COUNTS. More than we realize sometimes. This little quote I found on another blog last night brought me to tears...
"My mother didn’t specialize in home decor or gourmet cooking, and she
didn’t lift weights or run marathons. But she makes me feel like I am
the most important, wonderful person ever born. If I could pick any
mother in the whole world, it would be my mom."
I thought, wow, to make another human being feel so loved. Now that is an accomplishment. And with that feeling of love and security, that child will do amazing things.
I feel like there is only so much time in life. We have to pick and choose what is most important to us. My time, my energy, my physical capabilities are limited resources, that I now realize I have to protect with everything I have and share carefully. So, I have been asking myself- what is important to me? What do I devote my life to? The first thought that always pops up is the health and well-being of my children. I will take the time to plan and prepare nutritious meals, I will take the time to read to them, and snuggle them every night. I will treasure the relationship I have with their Daddy. I will take the time to care for myself, so that I can be as present with my kids as possible... eating well, exercising, and resting (resting is so good, and I don't feel like we allow ourselves to do it enough). I want to take time with my close friends and family and let them know how important they are to me. And I want a career where I can help others. Everything else is just a bonus!
I want to always strive for a life of simplicity and gratitude.